Proof Of Perfection In Man...

I swear, this guy is proof that perfection does exist! I have fallen in love with the 'Criminal Minds' tv series and at the same time fallen in love with Matthew Gray Gubler. Here are some pictures for you all the drool over...(Just so you know..it was incredibly difficult to limit myself down to only a few of his 'best'(they're ALL his best pictures) pictures) So, here you go.....

So there you have it...I just about managed to cut down on the amount of photos I had to post on here! I love his acting and I love his character in Criminal Minds. Hope you all love him as much as I do! :)

Maybe Next Year Will Be Different...

As you can see, the title of my blog has changed and I have added a little description. I suppose as I grow up, I'm changing. In more ways then I'd ever imagine I suppose. I heard the phrase 'Think outside the box' and I guess it stuck in my mind. From now on I am going to do my best to 'think outside the box' as best as I can.

I'm partcularily looking forward to next year, 2012! I know ever year I say, 'Next year is going to get better. It's going to be even better than the year we're leaving behind.' And I guess I'm saying it again his year but so far it hasen't been true. It's like I'm lying to myself. But anyway, maybe next year will be different.

Lovely Weather For A Swim?...Maybe Not.

I think I'm losing my mind. I've gone crazy all of a sudden. Like those people who appear in films and you think to yourself, 'thank god I'm not like them', whilst watching them curled up in a ball on the ground in the pouring rain, crying like there's no tomorrow. Well, I didn't do that. But I was close to it. I suppose everything just came crashing down on me and I couldn't handle it. So I ran away. Well, when I say I ran away, I mean, I 'ran' to the beach. Alone. And sat on a rock and before I even knew it, every single worry, whether it was big or small came spilling out in the form of tears.
What happened next was a bit of a blur. Suddenly I was only in my vest and leggings and I was walking into the sea, in the rain and the wind. And for a while I didn't feel the cold. Which is weird. You'd think I would seeing as it's December and I was in the sea. But I didn't..for a while anyway. But all of a sudden it hit me and I couldn't breathe. It was like knives were cutting me all over. It was like nothing I'd ever experienced. But for a moment. Just for a second, the rest of me felt as numb and I had felt inside all along.
I was so unlike me. Which is why I couldn't understand it..usually I wouldn't even have the guts to do that. But right then, I just wanted too.
I'm an idiot.
And now I don't feel very well and I am a douche with no brain. GAH.

Anyway. That's enough moaning.
Hope you've all had a pleasant day.
Lotsa love.
GeorgiaMay x

If You Walk Away, Everyday It Will Rain <\3

Since listening to Bruno Mars's new song 'It will rain', I seem to have fallen in love with his music even more (if that's even possible).. I find myself being able to relate myself with his songs. And you know, that is why I think music plays such a huge part in people's lives. People couldn't live without it. And it's not because of the singer themselves, or the beat, or even the tune. It's the lyrics. People relate themselves to the lyrics in the song and that is why people love music so much. It's amazing really, how much a song can play such a part in someones life. 

Anyway, there's nothing more for me too say here other than...

'If You Walk Away..Everyday It Will Rain'

I Love You x

Love GeorgiaMay Xx

10 Things That Make Me Happy...

Feeling down lately, so I am going to name 10 things that make me happy and it'll make everything better and I'll be happy once again....

10 Things that make me happy:

1. Painting

2. Cycling/walking nowehere in particular on my own

3. Snow

4. Photos of good memories

 

5.A clear starry sky at full moon

6. Being hugged by someone I love and care about

7. laughter

8. Smiles

9. Love

10. Happiness!

Hey! I do feel a tad more happy now, after thinking about things I love....of course there's more then this, but I was limited to only writing 10! Then I found pictures for them all and other pictures and photos made me smile and laugh and now I feel very happy! Hope everone else out there is happy! I gonna share mine! Take the love everyone! Feel it, feel the love! Good night everyone Xx

Love love love Lichtenstein!

 I have recently decided that I love lichtenstein's work. I really relate to the people in his pictures and I love his style of working!

P.S. I love you. In the game of life.

How do you know if someone loves you? Do you ask them? Or do you just wait and see if they tell you? If they don't tell you does it mean they actualy don't love you, or is it because they love you so much they aren't able to take the rejection of you not liking them? Or is it just because they know full on that nothing can ever happen so it just causes less heartache to confess they're love you you?

What if you know they love you and you love them. But you can't make the move before them, you have to wait for them and they never make the move? Should you confront them? Or just wait. Then move on. Find someone else and just move on? Is that as easy as if sounds? What if you're trying to move on but that other person just won't leave you? Always there. Talking to you. Staring at you. Listening to you. All the time..

What if you're in love with this person and they're not in love with you? Should you drown in sorrow and depression? Or just forget and move on? Even though you know you will always love this person, no matter what else may happen.
Moving on is the hardest part...And although I am trying to 'move on' I know that the feelings I have will never entirely go away. They'll always be there. Sleeping. In a coma. Which is kind of how I feel right now..Like I'm in a coma. numb inside. Not feeling. Sad. I need to get away. I need to go. Leave. But I can't. I'm stuck here. Like a goldfish in a bowl. Stuck here against my own terms. But I would prefer to be in a river or a lake. Free. Happy. Me.. But I won't. I can't. I have to stay, and do exams and coursework and gcse's like a good girl or I will fail in life. Like a game. If you don't stay and fight and work your way through the game you will lose. But if you stay focused and patient you have a chance of winning. A chance of winning in the game of life. So for now I am stuck here. Glued. Stuck to work on my life. Like a zombie. Unfeeling and dead. Not knowing what will happen next or what to do or who they even are. That's life I suppose.
The Game Of Life. You Win. Or. You Lose. And at the moment. I'm losing.
Love GeorgiaMay Xx

GoodBye Long Fiery Locks...

Everyone knows. You reading this, you know what I'm talking about don't you!? Of course you do! How could you not? But it's not as bad as I thought it would be...and I suppose it can only get better from here..I hope..

I am going through some sort of 'mid-life crisis' only, in my teenage years..haha! On Tuesday I am cutting all my hair off...and I mean all of it! And I am dying it a colour which is described as 'Pure Plum'! I am finally ridding myself of my multicoloured, orange and reddy brown hair! I will post a photo of it afterwards for all to see! How did I come to this decision you ask? Well, on Wednesday I looked at myself in the mirror and something snapped inside me. I hated myself. I hated how I looked, I hated how I acted, I hated everything and nothing anyone would say could change that. And so I got the scissors from my table and began snipping my fiery locks as tears rolled down my cheeks. Eventually I came to my senses and reality hit me. I dropped the scissors and luckily my hair was just about undamaged and didn't look too different. I immediately got onto my hairdresser, still determind to get rid of my hair, but this time to do it properly. I just have to change. I hate being me. I can't stand it! Cutting my hair will make me seem like a different person to myself, and gives me a different perspective of looking at myself. I don't care what people will think or say. I want to do this and so this is what I am doing! Bonjour for now! GeorgiaMay Xx

Do you know you love me too?

Do you read what I write?

Do you hear with think?

Do you see what I do?

Do you know how I feel?

Do you know I love you?

And do you know you love me too?

------------------------

Just something I thought up on the spot which kind of explains my mood. I think I have an obsession..which is probably not healthy all things considered, but hey, what can I do? I have an obsession with love. Not just any old random love though. I am obsessed with my love for you. And I can't stop it..I have tried and tried but I can't! So I am giving into it and letting it overwhelm me, untill it might eventually wear off. It's been nearly 4 years now, and my feelings are still strong, if not stronger. Which is strange, because apparently love is meant to fade over time whereas mine has only increased.
                                                          

I love to see your face

And love to hear your voice

And I think your as perfect as a card that says 'Ace'.

I love to stroke your hair

And breathe in your sweet scent

But every so often, you look a bit like a bear.

But I don't seem to care

As long as your here

With me now and forever

Be mine.

--------------------------------------------------

These little poems might be shit to you, but to me they mean a lot. That's all for now. I am off to Holland with the band for 5 days now!! See you later! BONJOUR!!

Lotsa hugs and kisses

GeorgiaMay Xx

All On My Own.

I feel so alone right now. Like no one I know is here, or even cares. And I feel like I am letting every single person that I know down. I must be so shallow, because I don't even realize. Don't know that everything turns out to be my fault. Which is unfourtunate. I suppose. What can I say? I have problems, and unfourtunately I need to work them out. It doesn't help everyone is constantly on my back, wearing me down. It just makes me think, what's the point anymore? But I suppose loads of people feel like that at some point. It's just getting so hard to constantly be trying my best and not getting anywhere with it. No matter what I do I will always be doing something wrong. And I suppose, there is nothing I can do about it, except for try harder then I already am.
Night everyone,  Love to you all
Love GeorgiaMay Xx

Feel The Love Xx

Good evening everyone,

I've been thinking tonight, and looking at various people's blogs. It's got me thinking just how different everyone really is. Nowadays everyone, particularly teenagers, are thought of to be all the same. All going by the same fashion, music taste and perhaps personality. But looking at people's blogs made me think that that's not true at all. We are all unique. We all have our different thoughts, worries and ideas and we all have our different ways of putting them across. What interests me most, is how we all have our own unique way of writing. Each and every person's writing sounds different. From the dreadfully spelt writing to the so smart you can't understand it.

One blog entry that did interest me, was one on relationships, and how people think of them, and how free we are in relationships. Like many other blog entries this got me thinking, however unlike others I have read I found myself thinking of  about my life as I read it. It got me thinking about my 'dream relationship'. What would people think of it? But then, I suppose that brings the matter back down to 'what would people think of me?' Which again makes me think why everyone is so worried about what people think of them. We all worry about we say and do in case anyone would happen to think bad of it therefore thinking bad of them.

What this blog also got me thinking about it homosexuality. And why everyone has so many different views on it. What I always think is it's still the same person no matter who they may love, so therefore why should they be treated any worse then the rest of us? Surely they have the right to love and be with whomever they wish.

Just think how different the world would be if everyone thought freely about relationships and if there were no social limits on who you could be with. If everyone was free to date whomever they wished and not feel scared about what other's may think.
I personally, accept any relationships, no matter how strange or normal. So here I say, Love everyone no mater what! Feel the love everyone :)
Love GeorgiaMay Xx

Me, Myself and SUN.

Hello Bloggers!

I haven't posted here in quite a while! How dreadful!
I've just been and had my passport photo taken...it's awful!! Haha, it makes me look like I'm half asleep and my cheeks look so chubby it's unbelievable! Passport is for the band DCE trip in September! Woop woop!! I can't wait for that! :)

I am all on my own this week :( My best friend is on holiday and my boyfriend is also on holiday! I am not looking forward to it..it's going to be so boring. But I am kinda looking forward to band this weekend! Last weekend was just....meh. Nicht su gut. Which is german for 'Not so good'. There was something wrong with me that day, not sure what but I couldn't focus like I usually can! And I made myself look like an absoloute tit! I really HATE it when I can't get something right! It annoys me so much and really gets me down! Which is not good. And the other day I went to the library. And I thought 'I am going to put a stop to this'. I'm sick of being angry and short tempered all the time. So I got out 3 books on 'anger control'. and for the next few days I have been reading them non-stop. Because I hate it. I hate being angry and not even knowing why. People just automaticly turn to me and go 'hormones'. But I know it's not. It's something different and I am determined to beat it! The only person holding me back is myself. So now I am starting to get into meditation. Whenever I feel myself getting worked up, or irritated I close my eyes and just think of a blue summer's sky. and I imagine the clouds drifting past and the sun shining down on me. And it really does help! Sometimes, if I've argued with someone of had a fight, I go to a quiet room and actually lie down and just imagine peaceful things and concentrate on my breathing. That works a treat! And anytime I feel myself starting to get irritated by someone, I just breathe in and out three times and think 'Rise above it'.

And you know, lately I've been thinking a lot about the future. Where will I be in 5 or so years time? What about 10 years? 20? Even 50! It's quite scary when you actually sit down and think about it. But if I am honest, I think I've already had to deal with a lot so far in my life. I've had to look after friends who self harm, family problems (however many many people have to deal with far worse problems to do with their families than I have, I'm not denying that), and I have already been accused of something I haven't and would never dream of doing, which then resulted in wrecking a friendship, which would have been nicer if I had been kept. I guess, in a way though, I'm not too bothered with it. I'm more angry then anything else (surprise, surprise) at them. And I have no intetions of ever talking to them properly ever again.

It's strange sometimes. I sit down and think...'What do people think of me? What do they imagine with someone says my name? Who am I to them?'..and I think for a bit and try to imagine. But then I realise I can't. Because deep down, I have absoloutely no idea who I think I actually am either. Who am I? I actually don't have a clue. I guess I am still searching!

On a brighter side of things though...the sun is shining today!! And the sky is blue! :) ......not that the sky is ever any other colour...but hey! On that note! Have a suntastic day people!! xx

Kiss me and say Goodbye

Yesterday, I got my first proper kiss :) and it was so sweet and lovely and so romantic! My stomach had butterflies in it the whole time, as the hug turned into a sweet embrace before I heard the words 'Look up and relax' and then finally a kiss...before pulling back into another hug and ending with another kiss. I was nervous as hell the whole time of course, but that didn't stop me from enjoying the moment! It was a perfect moment and time seemed to freeze as we stood, locked together on the railway station as his train pulled in. And then it was over and I was still dizzy from the sensation and as I walked home alone I thought to myself, I have taken my first step to 'proper' teenagehood.

Although this was a fabulous end to the day, the rest of it wasn't quite so...enjoyable, so to say. Somehow, during the day I manged to trip and smash my collar bone on a ceramin (hard) plant pot. Which was, you could say pretty large and very painful. However, during the fall I manged to twist my head to the side so that I only grazed my cheek on a table corner. If I hadn't I would have smacked my chin on the corner and probablly would have a few stitches right now...But let me just say, the pot was just as painful! I ended up rolling onto my back, as my boyfriend held me in his arms, struggling to catch my breath and even my breathing. I remember closing my eyes and clutching my throat as I took deep breaths, fighting to return back to normal as my friends crowded round me. Eventually I gained full control of my breathing and sat up slowly, but as I stood I had to bite my lip to stop myself crying out in pain as my collarbone throbbed in pain. Excusing myself, I rushed upstairs to check out my injury. Looking in the mirror, I saw that my left collarbone was grazed and had turned an angry shade of pink, which was fast spreading around my neck. It hurt to breath and I couldn't look over my shoulder. Not long after I had been up there my friend followed me up and demanded to look at it...upon which she grimaced and then soaked some tissue paper in cold water and told me to hold it on to stop the throbbing and make sure it doesn't bleed. Gingerly, I placed the tissue on my collarbone onto to have it sting at me angrily. Eventually, after holding a bag of peas onto it, it started calming down. I still couldn't talk, breathe or laugh withought it throbbing painfully, but at least it had stopped stinging. For the whole day after I was on very strong painkillers!

And today, it still hurts...but if I am honest, I don't care!!! Because yesterday was the best day of my life SO FAR! I just have to learn to control my balance :D
But for now, I bid you all farwell! This entry might have been a little TOO detailed but that is because I am in a writing kind of mood :) See you all next time xx

GoodNight Plants..

I am starting to get fit!! Just thought I'd say....I have been dragging myself down to the gym about twice a week, sometimes three. And it's going well! I went today, and lost 350 calories! And I have the blisters from the rowing machine to prove it! So, that's going well! :)

Also, I haven't told you this yet. But I'm single again....yeah I know right, sucks!! But I have to admit, I don't mind it. I quite enjoy being single! A free bird! Flying openly into the world!

Wow....Try as I might, I am finding it so difficult to write here tonight...I have just also been reading through my posts from the first one I ever wrote to this one! It's awed me just how much I have changed! My writing had been messy and slightly childlike...whereas I like to this that now it's a tad more grownup, with still a bit of fun weaved in!
So anyway, for tonight I bid you farewell

Also, before I go, what do you think of my new background!? Of stars in space? It's so pretty!! :) I am certainly thrilled with it! So, anyway, Goodnight!

Your Are The Only Exception x

Do you know, I was talking to a good friend today about love...and we both agreed that we don't have anybody in our lives at the moment that we were happy to give ourselves to and let ourselves go. And it got us talking about how we don't belive anyone should have to 'belong' to anone else, or feel the pushing pressure on things such as holding hands and even kissing! In fact I stood right up and said 'I do not want anyone right now. I am single and I love it! I don't want to feel any pressure and I am happy as I am!' Then I stopped for a second and thought to myself. Am I really happy as I am? Of course, I certainly don't love anyone enough to date them....then I thought of you. And realised, you were the exception of everything I had said! If you came up to me and said 'I love you!' Everything I had just said about not dating, or kissing or holding hands would go straight out the window and I know that I would give myself to you. You would have my heart on a silver dish with it served with herbs and a sauce to intesify it! Because I know, that I will not be able to help myself! So as I thought 'You my love, are my only exception...' The paramore song came into my head and I found a smile forming on my face. So when I arrived home from school today I found myself repeatedly listening to 'Paramore-The Only Exception'. And I am thinking of you....now and always. I hope you enjoy listening to this song as I have...I posted the video with lyrics so that you could read them as you listen.

To you my love, this all applies. x

P.S...I just thought I'd let you know, I love you x

I found this poem and made me think of you..

Love is beautiful? Yeah right...Now, tell me something truthful..

I stumbled across an interesting song today whilst I was going about my everyday business after band...It seemed to latch onto me and make me freeze with whatever I was doing at the time. It was a lovely song, absoloutely beautifully written. I found myself standing in the middle of the kitchen, a small, private, sneaky smile creeping at my face threatening to brighten my mood even more today. And then as I listened more to the song I heard a lyric which made me scoff and my smile slip off my face and darken my mood. It said....'Love is a beautiful thing. It is perfect.' What a lie that is! Of course, I do agree, love CAN be lovely but most of the time it feels like crap. (Excuse the language). It pulls you down and sucks all the energy out of you. You miss them so much when you're not with them so that when you are, you try to make the most of it. Which of course, never goes to plan. You end up being dissapointed and ignored. Then you leave feeling downhearted and sad. But then, for some reason you still love them! So you wait and wait for the next time to see them. And you count down the days. And you get so excited and nervous, you're close to bursting. Then you see them. And it starts all over again. Now, I don't wish to sound like a 'buzzkill'. I totally understand how love can be delightful and brilliant. Yet, I believe you have to work towards the wonders of true love. At the beguinning it can hurt like hell. Especially if that one person, who you believe is your 'soulmate' doesn't feel the same way towards you. Or if you don't know whether they do or not, and you're left wondering everday. And when you see them you don't know how to act because you don't know if they know or not. However, if you're lucky enough to find your true soulmate, it is true love right from the beguinning and you both know it. So you're saved from all the pain and hurt.

I suppose all that was a bit depressing...? But I guess that song lyric just got me thinking. Anyway, just got back from a 3 day weekend at band! It's been ridiculously hot, and my mood had it's ups and downs butall in all it has still been a brilliant weekend!! I am not going to read a book, put some cool music on...and eat lots of easter chocolate! :)
(I'm not fat and unhealthy...I swear! I don't know how I get away with it! Haha!)
Bye bye lovely readers....I hope you all had a fantastic easter!
P.S.......It's nearly going to be a 50th post!!! Woop woop! xxxx

I miss you, But I'm trying not to care anymore x

I miss you. So much. I wish you were here with me. I want to be the one you fall in love with. The one who you call up just for a chat. The one who recieves that special valentines card. I want to be the one you go on a midnight stroll with and the one you're heart aches for when we are not together. I want you to love me like I love you. I've tried to forget. To not remember. To stop this. But I can't. And I have learnt that it's no use trying to forget. It only hurts more.

LIAR

 Guilt really weighs you down doesn't it? It's like someone is standing on top of me pushing me down. Or like when someone buries you at the beach and no matter how hard you try to break free you can't. I try so hard to be nice. So hard to be a good person. But it makes me feel bad inside. Because to be kind sometimes you have to lie. And that really crushes me inside. I try so hard because I don't want to hurt anybody, don't want to make anybody sad! And I hate having to appear strong all the time...Sometimes I just want to break down and cry. But I don't! Because I don't cry.

It's just a bit difficult at the moment. I'm really starting to feel the pressure, the pressure to make people proud all the time and get things absoloutely spot perfect! It's so difficult but at the same time I want to. I WANT to make people proud! I want to make myself worthy...because I have always wanted to be really good at something...something that people can turn to me and say 'wow, you're really good!' And finally I have and I want to keep it that way! I have a dream, I have had it for a long time. And finally I have been given the chance to fulfill that dream! It's what I have been 'building' up too! And now finally the chance has come! Someone has opened the door for me and the mat says 'Welcome Georgia!' but to enter I have to take a test...It's an easy test. as easy as writing the word 'hello'...I just hope I am ready.



But on the bright side of all this....it's my birthday on Thursday! A year older....14 at last! :) Wahoo!! Well, untill next time...sweet dreams everyone xxxx

I Was Your Romeo and You Were My Juliet

I am really getting into the Overtones! I have asked for their album for my birthday! They're awesome :) These are just 2 of my favourite songs! I love the top one cause it's fun and bouncy to sing along too....I like the bottom one because it has such beautful lyrics and really pretty song....It doesn't have the proper backing music video but I think it makes it sound so pretty :) Enjoy xx
  

I don't want to. I don't want to keep it. I hate it! I want to get rid of it...erase it. It hold such bad memories to me. It's a part of my life I want to forget about. My book I mean. The one I spent 3 years on. But I hate it now. I just want it to go but everyone's telling me to keep it. But I feel like it's pulling me back. Telling me I can't progress. I'm no better. I think I am going to get rid of it no matter what anyone thinks. Someone said I might want to use parts of it in another book...I don't think I will. I think once I delete it, it will be a weight lifted off me. A new start. A good start! I'm looking forward to it! and I think this one will have a happy ending..

Band, Teeth, plants and Chocolate!

Good evening bloggers! It's been a while hasn't it? Some great things have happened though! Firstly I still have a boyfriend! It's going so well!! Although there is a problem on Saturday that we were going to see a movie but I got reminded the other day that I have band. It's so difficult because I love band but I also want to see my boyfriend. I think we finally decided that I am going to see him and the movie and the  go to band when it's finished. I will be a bit late to band but at least I actually will be there....I feel like a bit of a rebel! So different to what I usually do! And also I've been asked to play at a fun day thing on Sunday....which is weird! I'm sort of still going 'What on earth!? Why have I been asked!? What's going on!?' haha! But of course I'm thrilled! I guess I am still recovering from the shock :) It's just crazy! Haha! And also, I have a wobbly tooth!!! Which is also CRAZY! I am nearly 14 and I have a wobbly tooth! I mean, what the hell!? I'm a bit worried about when it's gonna drop out though....cause it's one of my back teeth but it's near the front! So when it falls out it'll be noticable! *Gulp* Haha!

Also. I hate it when people 'treat me with care'..you know? Like, they know something but they're not telling! And then they say 'I don't want to hurt you'...well, Bullshit! Complete and utter bullshit!!.....But on the upside we have been given plant cuttings to bring home and grow from science today! :) It's brilliant! I have named mine 'Basil' and I am going to look after him like he is my baby! I'm going to water him and talk to him and sing to him and play music to him!! I will not let him die!!

And...also! I STILL have not eaten chocolate since the beguinning of lent began!! Which I think is pretty amazing! Because I swear someone is trying to test me! The other day a smartie mysteriously made it's way into my bag of pic 'n' mix! I gave it to my brothers...and then today my science teacher gave me a CREME EGG! which is still in my bag! I have no idea what to do with it! LOL! anyway...best be of now! waking the dead is on! :)

Bye bye xx
GeezEye xx

Stars And Soprano's.

Good evening....!
I'm feeling rather down tonight as my lip is still too sore to practise any trumpet :( I've never realised how much I depend on my trumpet to keep me in a good state of mind...it really boosts my confidence and makes me feel so happy at the same time!

I am also counting down the hours as to when my very lovely boyfriend leaves New York and begins his journey home :) .....Still got about 6 hours to wait though....If I looked up into the night sky at the same time his plane passes, would I see it?

So I don't do this often, I guess tonights blog post is dedicated to all my friends and family and everyone who I love. *You know who you are ;)*
So cheerio and night night fellow star gazers! xxx

P.S. I Love You.

Hello, good readers :)
I hope you're all okay...Got a bit to write about tonight! I mean, I actually have some interesting news! So, this blogs not just going to be....'I had a good day..saw some friends...yeah..night!'
So, anyway! I saw two great friends yesterday! We had a scary movie marathon! It was brilliant! We actually ate soo much!

So, we watched The Human Centipede...which is a pretty messed up movie! Was still pretty good though! Then we watched Saw! Which again, I was dissapointed in..The best bit was when the sawed off his leg! The rest of it was pretty awful! But, it was still a good day!

And then today, I had band (of course) and it was pretty good! We ensembled today! So, the brass and pit and drums all got together and worked to fit the music together! I tell you, it sounded Fantastic! It's was a rather grim end to the day though, as I managed to smack myself in the mouth my trumpet towards the end of the rehearsal, which caused my tooth to smash into my lip and split it..It was fine at first, it just thobbed horribly! But then after I began to play it opened up the cut and then the blood began to flow! I got some tissue on it but it only stopped the bleeding for a while...in that time I thought it would be clever to play the closer along with everyone else as it was the last tune of the day!...It did not help. It reopened the cut. And made it worse at the same time. And so now, about 3 hours after it is still very slowly bleeding! I can't talk very well because it stings so much and it'll cause it to split open and beguin bleeding again. I wont be able to practise trumpet untill it has just about healed. And so, I can truthfully say after writing this and thinking about it...I am quite annoyed! Oh well. It ws my own fault, I suppose.

But anyway! I still have great news! I'm in a relationship! I know right! WHAT a surprise!! :) Haha....I can't blame you for being shocked, I am astounded myself! I got a date with him on Saturday and I am very happy..He is the best thing that has happened to me in a while! But you know it's funny..everyone I have told is so pleased for me...apart from one person. And it's sort of confusing and sad but makes me feel sorta happy at the same time. I told this person and they said the ol' 'good for you, that's great, well done!'..same as everyone else. But whenever I look at them they just look plain sad! And just some of the things they say to me...it just makes me wonder. Are they really happy for me? Or is there something deeper I don't know about? Well, whatever...I am happy and I'm not going to let anybody ruin this for me! It's okay for me to ruin it...but not anyone else!! I love him and not going to let anyone take the love I have for him away from me. They could take him away from me but they can't take my love away.

So, anyway guys that's all for now! Wish me and my lip happy healing! :P
...GeezEye xxxx

P.S. I Love You. x

Music and Dinner!

Good morning :)
I thought I'd blog on here this morning cause I am in such a good mood!! Firstly, it's half term!! So I got up t about half nine today...which is a greeat lie in! :) and also, because I have just listened to a recording from band rehearsal yesterday...and you can actually hear me!! I am so damn pleased because if there is one thing you have to know about my music playing...it is I am NOT a loud brass player...I cannot do sharp stabs and I cannot play a piece real loud...cause it's just not how I play. My tone is sweet and soft...But everyone's telling me I have to play louder, harder, sharper..so yesterday I thought, what the hell!? and I just went for it! Everytime I thought...don't play too loudly, I scolded myself! and then just played louder! Everytime I thought I was playing too loudly I didn't get quieter, I kept at the same volume. And I thought 'everyone tells me I am a damn good trumpet player for my age....so show it! and be proud!' So I did.And now I am proud. Cause why should I be scared to play out? No one else is. Why shouldn't I play just as loud as everyone else? I wont progress anywhere if I don't. And now I am glad I did!

So thats why I'm so happy...it's a big deal to me! And it's made me pleeased!

Well, I have to go now..because I am cookign dinner tonight! Spaghetti bolognaise...with my own special twist! (..Not quite sure what exactly the twist is yet..) So see you all later!

xxxxx

Hey guys! Gooood evening! I hope you're all okay! I am now rewriting this blog entry, because I accidentally exited out of my last one...I know right!! Stupid! So this is my second time writing this...I nearly didn't at first cause I couldn't be bothered...but then I thought HEY! Why not?!

I think I went sleepwalking somewhere last night....not sure where...maybe a club..or maybe the beack and I tried to climb the rocks and fell..Or maybe I just went on a reeeally long walk. Cause I woke up this morning and I could hardly move it hurt so much! I was like 'What on earth is going on!?'.......and then I had band. Which I admit, for once I really wasn't in the mood for. At all. I hardly slept at all last night. Then I woke up feeling awful and after everything that happened this week I really didn't feel like band at all. But I made myself get up and do it. I went to band and I endured it (just)....but now I have a headache. But it's a special type of headache! It's a band headache! This is where I have a normal headache..with ringing in my ears and I can still hear music.

Aand...I bought a new trumet case this week!!! It's not the best...cause they're all soo expensive. But it's nicer than the one I have at the moment! I cannot WAIT for it to arrive! I must be so sad..but I am SO excited :) My beautiful baby deserves more than the case it as at the moment... (It's properly falling to pieces!!...the case..not the trumpet) Hehe!! Hopefully it arrives before band on Sunday!

Also, I am really getting into 'Two door cinema club' ! They are actually awesome! The music is amazing!!

That's all for today... Or I may post a bit of my recent book in a bit..So keep an eye out :P Bye!! xxx

Worst Valentines day possibly ever? Found HERE

Happy (late) Valentine's day everyone..I hope you all had a more enjoyable one then I did. I can quite honestly say I had the worst one ever. I was perfectly happy just writing my latest romance novel and listening to music when I thought I would give a close friend a call. I guess I was a bit down because yet again I was single on Valentines day. I didn't think I could feel worse. Why would there be a reason to feel worse? And then she told me. And I realised how wrong I was. I felt absoloutely awful. I have never felt so bad. I guess I had kind of been waiting for this but I didn't think it would come so soon. I didn't think it would come as such of a shock. But it did and it has and it's going to take me a long time to recover.

I just wish he knew. Knew how much I 'cared?'. I am finding it hard, oh so hard, to feel 'happy' for him. I know I should, but I just can't yet. I just keep thinking 'Why would he do this to me'? Which I know sounds so stupid! But it would have been easier to have just been told 'I don't love you', then to have this happen. One of the worst bits is that I broke down over the phone to my friend. I couldn't help it. All this time I have been trying to be tough. I am the person who doesn't cry at anything. You can punch me and I will punch you back twice as hard, You can kick me and I will kick you back even harder, You can call me names and I will call you names and hit you, You can push me into a bush and I will push you out of a tree.... but I Will.NOT.cry. At least not around anyone. But I did and I did for about an hour. You see, in our relationship I am the strong one. I am the one who wipes her tears away, or comforts her over the phone. I will be the one to carry her home after a night of partying whilst I am sober and she drunk. Yet, last night she was the one offering words of comfort to me whilst I choked on my own tears and clutched at my broken-hearted chest which felt as though it had a chunk ripped out of it. In the end we were both in tears. I haven't cried in so long. It felt almost strange when I got going. But then I couldn't stop. I cried so much it started to hurt.

But once I'd gotten over the shock, I didn't cry. My heart stopped aching. I went numb, felt no pain. I felt nothing. My brain turned off and I stopped thinking. My brain disconnected itself from my body and I felt no hurt. And so now, I am happy. Happy that he's happy. And happy that he can make someone else happy. And I know that anyone who gets to stay with him, is the luckiest person in the world. And that I hope they love him as much as is humanly possible. I hope they make him happy and have a perfect life with him. Even though, so obviously. It cannot be with me.

Happy Valentines day everyone. I hope next year is even better.
x

Hello!! I'm feeling better now :) So, here is a poem I wrote for Valentine's day!......

I draw the line with chalk

Countless times I have cried over you. 

The longing to hear the words 'I love you too'.

And the love shall not dampen,

But only in a dream does it really happen.

Before too long,

You will be gone.

Yet my heart will always be yours to keep,

No matter how much I may weep.

So this one's for you my love, 

My little English dove.

If it were to be,

You'd be with me.

So I draw the line, 

With no permenant ink but chalk.

So that in time when the line, fades the love shall not,

But you'd be in my mind nothing but a dot,

A faint spot of my foolishness

When I once had thought that,

Someone as perfect as you could love the likes of me as I once did for you.

--------------------------------------
Happy Valentine's day to all you single people out there!! Don't get too depressed :D xxx

Just getting it all out.....

I am so pissed. Like, majorly pissed off. Some people just never change do they? And it's starting to get on my nerves! Big time. I'm sick of the fact they always act like nothing's wrong, yet I guess it's not to them! Cause they always get the best side of things. And I'm left with the shitty left over bits. As usual. It's just starting to get to me. I don't care if I'm over-reacting. Or if I'm acting a bit childish. I'm just trying to  say what I feel. But it's just not worth it. Cause they wont listen and they'll all twist the words. I hate the way they organise it all. With me just going along with it all. And I can't sit here much longer. The more I think about it the more it gets to me and I feel like I am going to burst. Or just kick and throw something. I've been known to be violent. Having gone through about 3 music stands due to my angry outbursts and many things breaking or getting lost having been hurled across my room. I currently have a hole in my wall where I punched it a few years back and at the same time hurting my knuckles. I don't want to go back to being that person who is constantly angry. Who has a short temper and who bursts into tears from the slightest things.That's not the person I am now. I'm the person who has fantastic friends, and who is a bit mysterious but happy, who smiles to herself and blushes when someone asks what I'm smiling at. The person doesn't have a care in the world and doesn't care what people think. The person who paints and writes and plays in a band. Am I? Am I really all those things? Do I really know who I am? Or am I just being molded into what I want people to think of me as. Am I worried about what people really think? Constantly watching what I do, worrying they'll think me a freak.Who am I?

I have another friend. I'm really worried. There's nothing I can do to stop them from doing the things they do. I phone them most nights. Just for a chat. But other times just to check they're still okay. I don't like it. It just adds to my list of things to think and worry about. They can talk to me about all their problems. They always do because I force it out anyway. I hate the fact there is nothing I can do to help other than listen. I feel so helpless.

Well, this is a really depressing blog tonight! Maybe it's because it's Valentines day on Monday and I am still single. Nearly 14 and still single. What a crazy life I lead....But on the up side! Michael Buble has written a song called 'Georgia On My Mind'! (My name is Georgia...) It's a great name! But hardly anyone can spell it. I only know a couple of people who can spell it properly! Haha!!

Brilliant week!

It has been a damn good week, even if I do say so myself! Somebody up in heaven obviously likes me! I have no doubt in my mind that it was my granny. God bless her soul. She has obviously been listening to my prayers. Listening to my wishes and my dreams. I am soo very happy! There's not much I can say other than I AM SO HAPPY!! I also had Brightmed today. Which was brilliant1 I have made some really cool friends! They're awesome. Now I am having a quiet, girly night in watching the Green Mile (best film EVER!) with my best friend in the world! Then I got band tomorrow! Woop woop! I can't wait!! :D xxxxx
Thants all for tonight I guess....night night! x

Christmas, New Year and...2011!!

Happy New Year everyone!! Feels good to finally be in 2011! Now just forget all about 2010....forget about all the down points! But also, we should remember the good points! If 2010 was abad year for you..then just try and remember the good bits! For me..last year was a bit of a rollercoaster! One minute it was fantastic and I was on top of the world, the next I was in the gutter..not quite knowing what was going on and why nobody would speak to me or tell me whats going on. But hey! It's over! and let me tell you, 2011 is going to be a good year! Even better then 2010 and MUCH better then 2009..(which was a pretty damn shitty year let me tell you!!) I think 2011 is going to be the year where people find out what sort of person they are. and who they enjoy spending time with. I hope that 2011 is going to be a good year for me,personally. By this time next year I will be 14!! (at last!) but thats also a bit scary! I'm starting my gcse's! and it's worrying but I am ready! I am prepared and you know, I just want to start now!! school just feels so pointless at the moment, once we start gcse's it will feel like I am working up to something! But anyway, also by the end of next..sorry correction. THIS year I would like (and this is going to sound soo stupid and your going to go SHUTTHEHELLUP!!) to have a boyfriend!! but not a prat. Like, a reeally nice one. who like me for who I am!..Difficult though. I DON'T KNOW ANY BOYS!! grr...the only 'boys' I know..are not boys! they're men!! so basicly I am stuffed! haha! Perhaps I just need to get out more? I only go to band or go out with friends cycling and jogging and things..Perhaps I watch too many films. And I just let my immagination run wild sometimes. But you have to admit, it would be lovely if by the end of this year (if your single) to have someone to love and cuddle you!?..I have to get out more.. :)

Okay, so do you have any new year resolutions?? I had LOADS a few weeks back! but now I can't remember!! Maybe it should be that I should finish and at least TRY to publish a book? Maybe I should cut down on chocolate (bit boring but, hey!) or..see I can't remember any more!!! Meh..ah well!!

So, I hope you had a FANTAAASTIC christmas! I hope you got everything you wanted and more! :) I have to say, it has been a damn good christmas! I finally got a sewing machine!!! :D yay! now I can make dresses, skirts etc! I can't wait! I also got a cd (my chemical romance-danger days) and 2 dvd's! (sweeney Todd 2disk edition!! and also dcuk finals dvd!!) I got some bags and a very pretty necklace from my unlce! It's made of real crystals and is in the shape of an apple! I love it, it's actualy...*ahem* beautiful :) and I also got a very nice looking sewing box, to keep my sewing bits in! (very handy)! I also got a veery nice hat and pair of gloves! and other bits and bobs! Well anyway, I best be off now! but before I go, let me just say that I am working on another book! It is a 'tragic romance'.  quite sad!...(well, I hope I am able to make it feel sad!)
so anyway, off I go now! See you next time ! BYE!
-Georgia xxxx