LIAR

 Guilt really weighs you down doesn't it? It's like someone is standing on top of me pushing me down. Or like when someone buries you at the beach and no matter how hard you try to break free you can't. I try so hard to be nice. So hard to be a good person. But it makes me feel bad inside. Because to be kind sometimes you have to lie. And that really crushes me inside. I try so hard because I don't want to hurt anybody, don't want to make anybody sad! And I hate having to appear strong all the time...Sometimes I just want to break down and cry. But I don't! Because I don't cry.

It's just a bit difficult at the moment. I'm really starting to feel the pressure, the pressure to make people proud all the time and get things absoloutely spot perfect! It's so difficult but at the same time I want to. I WANT to make people proud! I want to make myself worthy...because I have always wanted to be really good at something...something that people can turn to me and say 'wow, you're really good!' And finally I have and I want to keep it that way! I have a dream, I have had it for a long time. And finally I have been given the chance to fulfill that dream! It's what I have been 'building' up too! And now finally the chance has come! Someone has opened the door for me and the mat says 'Welcome Georgia!' but to enter I have to take a test...It's an easy test. as easy as writing the word 'hello'...I just hope I am ready.



But on the bright side of all this....it's my birthday on Thursday! A year older....14 at last! :) Wahoo!! Well, untill next time...sweet dreams everyone xxxx