GoodBye Long Fiery Locks...

Everyone knows. You reading this, you know what I'm talking about don't you!? Of course you do! How could you not? But it's not as bad as I thought it would be...and I suppose it can only get better from here..I hope..

I am going through some sort of 'mid-life crisis' only, in my teenage years..haha! On Tuesday I am cutting all my hair off...and I mean all of it! And I am dying it a colour which is described as 'Pure Plum'! I am finally ridding myself of my multicoloured, orange and reddy brown hair! I will post a photo of it afterwards for all to see! How did I come to this decision you ask? Well, on Wednesday I looked at myself in the mirror and something snapped inside me. I hated myself. I hated how I looked, I hated how I acted, I hated everything and nothing anyone would say could change that. And so I got the scissors from my table and began snipping my fiery locks as tears rolled down my cheeks. Eventually I came to my senses and reality hit me. I dropped the scissors and luckily my hair was just about undamaged and didn't look too different. I immediately got onto my hairdresser, still determind to get rid of my hair, but this time to do it properly. I just have to change. I hate being me. I can't stand it! Cutting my hair will make me seem like a different person to myself, and gives me a different perspective of looking at myself. I don't care what people will think or say. I want to do this and so this is what I am doing! Bonjour for now! GeorgiaMay Xx

Do you know you love me too?

Do you read what I write?

Do you hear with think?

Do you see what I do?

Do you know how I feel?

Do you know I love you?

And do you know you love me too?

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Just something I thought up on the spot which kind of explains my mood. I think I have an obsession..which is probably not healthy all things considered, but hey, what can I do? I have an obsession with love. Not just any old random love though. I am obsessed with my love for you. And I can't stop it..I have tried and tried but I can't! So I am giving into it and letting it overwhelm me, untill it might eventually wear off. It's been nearly 4 years now, and my feelings are still strong, if not stronger. Which is strange, because apparently love is meant to fade over time whereas mine has only increased.
                                                          

I love to see your face

And love to hear your voice

And I think your as perfect as a card that says 'Ace'.

I love to stroke your hair

And breathe in your sweet scent

But every so often, you look a bit like a bear.

But I don't seem to care

As long as your here

With me now and forever

Be mine.

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These little poems might be shit to you, but to me they mean a lot. That's all for now. I am off to Holland with the band for 5 days now!! See you later! BONJOUR!!

Lotsa hugs and kisses

GeorgiaMay Xx

All On My Own.

I feel so alone right now. Like no one I know is here, or even cares. And I feel like I am letting every single person that I know down. I must be so shallow, because I don't even realize. Don't know that everything turns out to be my fault. Which is unfourtunate. I suppose. What can I say? I have problems, and unfourtunately I need to work them out. It doesn't help everyone is constantly on my back, wearing me down. It just makes me think, what's the point anymore? But I suppose loads of people feel like that at some point. It's just getting so hard to constantly be trying my best and not getting anywhere with it. No matter what I do I will always be doing something wrong. And I suppose, there is nothing I can do about it, except for try harder then I already am.
Night everyone,  Love to you all
Love GeorgiaMay Xx

Feel The Love Xx

Good evening everyone,

I've been thinking tonight, and looking at various people's blogs. It's got me thinking just how different everyone really is. Nowadays everyone, particularly teenagers, are thought of to be all the same. All going by the same fashion, music taste and perhaps personality. But looking at people's blogs made me think that that's not true at all. We are all unique. We all have our different thoughts, worries and ideas and we all have our different ways of putting them across. What interests me most, is how we all have our own unique way of writing. Each and every person's writing sounds different. From the dreadfully spelt writing to the so smart you can't understand it.

One blog entry that did interest me, was one on relationships, and how people think of them, and how free we are in relationships. Like many other blog entries this got me thinking, however unlike others I have read I found myself thinking of  about my life as I read it. It got me thinking about my 'dream relationship'. What would people think of it? But then, I suppose that brings the matter back down to 'what would people think of me?' Which again makes me think why everyone is so worried about what people think of them. We all worry about we say and do in case anyone would happen to think bad of it therefore thinking bad of them.

What this blog also got me thinking about it homosexuality. And why everyone has so many different views on it. What I always think is it's still the same person no matter who they may love, so therefore why should they be treated any worse then the rest of us? Surely they have the right to love and be with whomever they wish.

Just think how different the world would be if everyone thought freely about relationships and if there were no social limits on who you could be with. If everyone was free to date whomever they wished and not feel scared about what other's may think.
I personally, accept any relationships, no matter how strange or normal. So here I say, Love everyone no mater what! Feel the love everyone :)
Love GeorgiaMay Xx

Me, Myself and SUN.

Hello Bloggers!

I haven't posted here in quite a while! How dreadful!
I've just been and had my passport photo taken...it's awful!! Haha, it makes me look like I'm half asleep and my cheeks look so chubby it's unbelievable! Passport is for the band DCE trip in September! Woop woop!! I can't wait for that! :)

I am all on my own this week :( My best friend is on holiday and my boyfriend is also on holiday! I am not looking forward to it..it's going to be so boring. But I am kinda looking forward to band this weekend! Last weekend was just....meh. Nicht su gut. Which is german for 'Not so good'. There was something wrong with me that day, not sure what but I couldn't focus like I usually can! And I made myself look like an absoloute tit! I really HATE it when I can't get something right! It annoys me so much and really gets me down! Which is not good. And the other day I went to the library. And I thought 'I am going to put a stop to this'. I'm sick of being angry and short tempered all the time. So I got out 3 books on 'anger control'. and for the next few days I have been reading them non-stop. Because I hate it. I hate being angry and not even knowing why. People just automaticly turn to me and go 'hormones'. But I know it's not. It's something different and I am determined to beat it! The only person holding me back is myself. So now I am starting to get into meditation. Whenever I feel myself getting worked up, or irritated I close my eyes and just think of a blue summer's sky. and I imagine the clouds drifting past and the sun shining down on me. And it really does help! Sometimes, if I've argued with someone of had a fight, I go to a quiet room and actually lie down and just imagine peaceful things and concentrate on my breathing. That works a treat! And anytime I feel myself starting to get irritated by someone, I just breathe in and out three times and think 'Rise above it'.

And you know, lately I've been thinking a lot about the future. Where will I be in 5 or so years time? What about 10 years? 20? Even 50! It's quite scary when you actually sit down and think about it. But if I am honest, I think I've already had to deal with a lot so far in my life. I've had to look after friends who self harm, family problems (however many many people have to deal with far worse problems to do with their families than I have, I'm not denying that), and I have already been accused of something I haven't and would never dream of doing, which then resulted in wrecking a friendship, which would have been nicer if I had been kept. I guess, in a way though, I'm not too bothered with it. I'm more angry then anything else (surprise, surprise) at them. And I have no intetions of ever talking to them properly ever again.

It's strange sometimes. I sit down and think...'What do people think of me? What do they imagine with someone says my name? Who am I to them?'..and I think for a bit and try to imagine. But then I realise I can't. Because deep down, I have absoloutely no idea who I think I actually am either. Who am I? I actually don't have a clue. I guess I am still searching!

On a brighter side of things though...the sun is shining today!! And the sky is blue! :) ......not that the sky is ever any other colour...but hey! On that note! Have a suntastic day people!! xx

Kiss me and say Goodbye

Yesterday, I got my first proper kiss :) and it was so sweet and lovely and so romantic! My stomach had butterflies in it the whole time, as the hug turned into a sweet embrace before I heard the words 'Look up and relax' and then finally a kiss...before pulling back into another hug and ending with another kiss. I was nervous as hell the whole time of course, but that didn't stop me from enjoying the moment! It was a perfect moment and time seemed to freeze as we stood, locked together on the railway station as his train pulled in. And then it was over and I was still dizzy from the sensation and as I walked home alone I thought to myself, I have taken my first step to 'proper' teenagehood.

Although this was a fabulous end to the day, the rest of it wasn't quite so...enjoyable, so to say. Somehow, during the day I manged to trip and smash my collar bone on a ceramin (hard) plant pot. Which was, you could say pretty large and very painful. However, during the fall I manged to twist my head to the side so that I only grazed my cheek on a table corner. If I hadn't I would have smacked my chin on the corner and probablly would have a few stitches right now...But let me just say, the pot was just as painful! I ended up rolling onto my back, as my boyfriend held me in his arms, struggling to catch my breath and even my breathing. I remember closing my eyes and clutching my throat as I took deep breaths, fighting to return back to normal as my friends crowded round me. Eventually I gained full control of my breathing and sat up slowly, but as I stood I had to bite my lip to stop myself crying out in pain as my collarbone throbbed in pain. Excusing myself, I rushed upstairs to check out my injury. Looking in the mirror, I saw that my left collarbone was grazed and had turned an angry shade of pink, which was fast spreading around my neck. It hurt to breath and I couldn't look over my shoulder. Not long after I had been up there my friend followed me up and demanded to look at it...upon which she grimaced and then soaked some tissue paper in cold water and told me to hold it on to stop the throbbing and make sure it doesn't bleed. Gingerly, I placed the tissue on my collarbone onto to have it sting at me angrily. Eventually, after holding a bag of peas onto it, it started calming down. I still couldn't talk, breathe or laugh withought it throbbing painfully, but at least it had stopped stinging. For the whole day after I was on very strong painkillers!

And today, it still hurts...but if I am honest, I don't care!!! Because yesterday was the best day of my life SO FAR! I just have to learn to control my balance :D
But for now, I bid you all farwell! This entry might have been a little TOO detailed but that is because I am in a writing kind of mood :) See you all next time xx

GoodNight Plants..

I am starting to get fit!! Just thought I'd say....I have been dragging myself down to the gym about twice a week, sometimes three. And it's going well! I went today, and lost 350 calories! And I have the blisters from the rowing machine to prove it! So, that's going well! :)

Also, I haven't told you this yet. But I'm single again....yeah I know right, sucks!! But I have to admit, I don't mind it. I quite enjoy being single! A free bird! Flying openly into the world!

Wow....Try as I might, I am finding it so difficult to write here tonight...I have just also been reading through my posts from the first one I ever wrote to this one! It's awed me just how much I have changed! My writing had been messy and slightly childlike...whereas I like to this that now it's a tad more grownup, with still a bit of fun weaved in!
So anyway, for tonight I bid you farewell

Also, before I go, what do you think of my new background!? Of stars in space? It's so pretty!! :) I am certainly thrilled with it! So, anyway, Goodnight!