P.S. I love you. In the game of life.

How do you know if someone loves you? Do you ask them? Or do you just wait and see if they tell you? If they don't tell you does it mean they actualy don't love you, or is it because they love you so much they aren't able to take the rejection of you not liking them? Or is it just because they know full on that nothing can ever happen so it just causes less heartache to confess they're love you you?

What if you know they love you and you love them. But you can't make the move before them, you have to wait for them and they never make the move? Should you confront them? Or just wait. Then move on. Find someone else and just move on? Is that as easy as if sounds? What if you're trying to move on but that other person just won't leave you? Always there. Talking to you. Staring at you. Listening to you. All the time..

What if you're in love with this person and they're not in love with you? Should you drown in sorrow and depression? Or just forget and move on? Even though you know you will always love this person, no matter what else may happen.
Moving on is the hardest part...And although I am trying to 'move on' I know that the feelings I have will never entirely go away. They'll always be there. Sleeping. In a coma. Which is kind of how I feel right now..Like I'm in a coma. numb inside. Not feeling. Sad. I need to get away. I need to go. Leave. But I can't. I'm stuck here. Like a goldfish in a bowl. Stuck here against my own terms. But I would prefer to be in a river or a lake. Free. Happy. Me.. But I won't. I can't. I have to stay, and do exams and coursework and gcse's like a good girl or I will fail in life. Like a game. If you don't stay and fight and work your way through the game you will lose. But if you stay focused and patient you have a chance of winning. A chance of winning in the game of life. So for now I am stuck here. Glued. Stuck to work on my life. Like a zombie. Unfeeling and dead. Not knowing what will happen next or what to do or who they even are. That's life I suppose.
The Game Of Life. You Win. Or. You Lose. And at the moment. I'm losing.
Love GeorgiaMay Xx

GoodBye Long Fiery Locks...

Everyone knows. You reading this, you know what I'm talking about don't you!? Of course you do! How could you not? But it's not as bad as I thought it would be...and I suppose it can only get better from here..I hope..

I am going through some sort of 'mid-life crisis' only, in my teenage years..haha! On Tuesday I am cutting all my hair off...and I mean all of it! And I am dying it a colour which is described as 'Pure Plum'! I am finally ridding myself of my multicoloured, orange and reddy brown hair! I will post a photo of it afterwards for all to see! How did I come to this decision you ask? Well, on Wednesday I looked at myself in the mirror and something snapped inside me. I hated myself. I hated how I looked, I hated how I acted, I hated everything and nothing anyone would say could change that. And so I got the scissors from my table and began snipping my fiery locks as tears rolled down my cheeks. Eventually I came to my senses and reality hit me. I dropped the scissors and luckily my hair was just about undamaged and didn't look too different. I immediately got onto my hairdresser, still determind to get rid of my hair, but this time to do it properly. I just have to change. I hate being me. I can't stand it! Cutting my hair will make me seem like a different person to myself, and gives me a different perspective of looking at myself. I don't care what people will think or say. I want to do this and so this is what I am doing! Bonjour for now! GeorgiaMay Xx